Baka and the Spazz
by bagpiping-fma-fangirl
Summary: What happens when a magic deck of cards summons characters from Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Bleach? Read and find out! This is my first fanfic, so bear with me.' Not yaoi. Sorry.
1. Chapter 1

Baka and the Spazz

Everyone knows that there are two people in this world that are completely different in every way possible. Mix that with anime characters and you've got one fing awesome story!

Prologue:Random Crap!(hosted by the authors)

Adam:Our story takes place in Japan. Home of the California Roll!

Tara:...That's California, Adam...

Adam: Shut up!

Anywho, back to what I was saying, Our story takes place in Japan. Home of the Yaoi Fan-girl!

Tara: That's _everywhere_, Adam!

Adam: And now for my favorite saying...GODDAMNIT TARA!!!

Tara: bleeeeeeep

Adam:Just get on with the fricking story!

Tara:Fine!Be that way!Here it is:

Chapter One: Shopping in Japan

It all started with that trip to the cosplay shop. "Hey Adam look at this!" Tara squealed like the true fangirl/boy that resides in each and everyone of you. "What? It's just a deck of cards!" Adam yelled, his ears throbbing."Look at this!" he said, looking like he would die of blood loss via nosebleed. "I don't even want to know what you're looking at!" Tara yelled, hurling a life sized Alphonse Elric model at his head. " Would you get rid of all those Fullmetal Alchemist models, their taking over your house!"He screamed back, rubbing the bump where Al had nailed him. "At least I don't carry around a ninja headband all day!" She replied, still yelling.By now a crowd was gathering to watch the show. " Tou che." Adam commented. "Indeed." Tara agreed. And just like that, the battle of wills ended." Fine we'll get the stupid card deck.Why do you want it anyway?" Adam said."It's awesome! Plus you know how much I love card games!"Tara spouted, clinging to her source of money.

Meanwhile, back at Tara's house, her cat Adso was tearing apart everything he could get his grubby little claws on--wait scratch that _clean_ claws on account that he licks them every 30 seconds. Adso accidentally set off Tara's radio, which started blasting out 'I will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor. The cat was later found writhing in pain bleeding from the ears.

Back to the actual story. In the shop, Adam and Tara lost themselves in a vast collection of anime paraphernalia." Alright, so where's the stupid card deck?" Adam asked. "Right here?" she replied, shoving said card deck in his face." Are you sure you want that card deck?" he asked, dubiosly, "It's three times larger than a normal card deck! It must cost a fortune! Let's talk to the shopkeeper to see how much it costs." "Fine." she said.

They both walked over to the cash register, but nobody was there! "Hello?" Called Tara. Suddenly an old lady popped up behind them and yelled."Hello there young customers!" effectively scaring both of them shitless. Once they recovered, she asked them what they wanted to buy. "We would like to buy this card deck."Tara answered, showing the old lady the card deck. "That's not for sale, children." the old woman told them. "Why?" Tara asked. "Some thing are not to be tampered with, child." the old lady replied. "Now, please leave if this is all you want to buy." Tara and Adam left, after Tara put the case of cards back. The shopkeeper checked to see if Tara had put the card deck in the right place. The case now only contained a fifty dollar bill. "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CARDS?!?" Another scream could be heard. "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MONEY?!?" yelled Adam.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Of Chibis and Roadkill

"Tara, where the hell did my money go!?!?" screamed Adam, promptly tripping over a model of Envy. "And get rid of that evil palm-tree you like so much!!! I mean seriously, he wears a skirt!!!" "Actually it's a skort." replied Tara. "SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled, swelling like a pissed-off bullfrog.

"What happened to my house?" Tara asked, confused. She glanced over to see Adso on the floor, knocked out, with what looked like blood gushing from his ears. "He happened." Adam replied, jerking his thumb at said cat.

They had gone to Tara's house after Adam discovered what she had done. Going back on subject, Adam started lecturing her angrily. "Tara, what were you thinking? We're going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble!!!!!" "At least we paid her." Tara said. "Yeah, with my money!!!" "You were going to pay for it anyway." she shot back. 'Shit, she has me...' he thought.

"Now give me those cards." he said, swiping them from her hand. Tara walked away, when she returned, she was holding a life-sized model of Gluttony as if it were a baseball bat. Adam being the ball, of course. The baseball, wisely, ran for it's life, loudly swearing along the way. "Come back here with those!" she yelled, dropping the model and lunging, grabbing at the cards. But Adam held tight, they were both tugging furiously at the deck.

Suddenly the cards scattered across the floor. "Now look what you've done!" she yelled. "Me? You're the one who stole the cards in the first place!" he spat. They continued to rant, not realizing that the cards were being suffused in a strange aura. When it finally caught their attention, the cards were beginning to sink through the floor. They were thrown back by a blast of light that formed into a strange design on the floor. "A transmutation circle!" Tara gasped. "What the hell is that?" Adam asked. "I'll explain later." she snapped, lunging for the remaining cards. She managed to grab four of them, but accidentally dropped one of them, that sank through the floor as well. The transmutation circle dissipated, leaving a burn mark on her floor in the shape of the strange design.

Both of them sat next to the circle, looking slightly shell-shocked. "What the hell was that?" Adam asked, breaking the silence. "A transmutation circle." Tara replied. "What the hell are those, then?" he asked. But before Tara could reply, a burst of light shot out of each card she was clutching. "Enough with the light!!!!" Tara yelled, throwing the cards onto the floor and scooting backwards. The beams of light shaped into three different figures. One tall, one medium, and one smallish figure. When the light disappeared, Tara glomped the small one. "CHIBI-CHAN!!!!!!!!!" she cried, gleefully. Suddenly The figure started desperately trying to escape her grasp. "Who the hell-WAIT DID YOU JUST CALL ME A CHIBI?!?!?!?!?" yelled the glompee. "Yes o-chibi-san." she replied. She finally got a good look at the figure. "Please tell me I'm dreaming.'Cause if I'm not, I am definately roadkill." she added as an after-thought. "You're roadkill." said Adam. "Shit. I'm actually hugging Ed..." Tara suddenly was doing a very good impression of a ghost.


End file.
